FACTS OF LIFE

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, orget married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, Aren't you wearing yourwedding ring on the wrong finger?" Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.

"A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to getmarried?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying.

"Young son: "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn'tknow his wife until he marries her?" Dad: "That happens in everycountry, son.

"Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness wasuntil I got married, and by then, it was too late.

"Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

If you wantyour spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say,talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, women would go through lifethinking they had no faults at all.

First guy: "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's stillalive.

"Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the streetwith a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are attractive tothe opposite sex